Experiences of Light in Gay and Lesbian Near-Death
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By Liz
Dale, Ph.D., San Pablo, CA |
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In
Crossing Over and Coming Home, I recorded numerous
personal accounts of near-death experiences (NDEs) from
within the gay/ lesbian/bisexual/transgender (GLBT)
community (Dale, 2001). In his endorsement of that book,
Stanislav Grof wrote that the...
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"..study of near-death
experiences in the gay community ... is also a major
contribution to the general understanding of the
phenomenology of near-death states and their effects
on survivors" (Grof,
2001, unpaged frontispiece).
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Before describing examples of the
impact of divine light within gay NDEs, let me address the
reason it is important to document GLBT near-death stories.
Christian de la Huerta wrote in his groundbreaking book,
Coming Out Spiritually, that there was a time when gay
people...
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"..were the
shamans, the healers, the visionaries, the
mediators, the peacekeepers, the 'people who walk
between the worlds,' the keepers of beauty" (1999,
p. 3).
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As can be seen by the following
excerpts from their stories, the men and women who wrote
accounts of their NDEs were very courageous.
Melvin Morse wrote:
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"The near-death experiences
that gays and lesbians report are powerful reminders
that all human beings share a common truth: We will
have near-death experiences when we die .... Gay or
straight, brown skin or white skin, or rich and poor
alike, we will all have one when we die." (Morse,
2001, p. i)
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The concept of light is one of the key images one
experiences in an NDE. The
Dalai Lama described the metaphor of light as:
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"...a common image in all
the major religious traditions. In the Buddhist
context, light is particularly associated with
wisdom and knowledge; darkness is associated with
ignorance and a state of misknowledge." (1999,
p. 304)
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Within the stories of the GLBT
near-death experiences, divine light is an essential
component. The majority of GLBT near-death experiencers
whose accounts I collected (73 percent) reported such
experiences. For example, one experiencer who had taken an
overdose of sleeping pills and alcohol wrote the following:
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"All of a sudden I felt as
though I was moving through a corridor. It was dark
but not at all frightening. I sensed the presence of
others. Some of these 'spirit entities' were moving
more slowly than others toward the light Suddenly, I
was in a place that appeared to be room suffused
with light. There were no walls or ceilings or
floors. Light seemed to extend into infinity." (Dale,
2001, p. 100)
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GLBT
near-death experiencers offered a reason for the presence of
light. The majority of experiencers whose accounts I
collected (73 percent) felt a sense of comfort within the
light. The divine light emanated either from the NDEr or
from others in the NDE scenery. One woman described her
childhood NDE from a near-drowning in the following way:
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"I do not remember
struggling or being afraid. I felt only deep peace
and happiness. While my body was at the bottom of
the river, I remember looking up toward the surface.
I enjoyed watching a beautiful array of dancing,
brilliant sparkles of color from the yellow sunlight
coming through the river water. I was calm and
fascinated by the beauty of the light and the reeds
coming through the mud." (Dale,
2001, p. 40)
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These GLBT NDE stories illustrate
the message of a powerful connection between light, love,
and spirituality, over and over. Why do GLBT near-death
experiencers consider the NDE to be so inspiring?
Historically, there was a time when gays and lesbians were
looked upon favorably by society. But in recent times,
quoting again from
de
la Huerta:
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"Many [gays) have attempted
to reject their spirituality -- a tragic and
fruitless endeavor as ludicrous as waking up one day
and deciding that one no longer needs to breathe
because someone, somewhere decreed that breathing is
an evil, sick, sinful or immoral act." (de
la Huerta, 1999, p. 5)
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Malidoma Patrice Some of the
Dagara tribe of
Burkina Faso described gays as having a higher
"vibrational" level that enables them to be guardians of the
gateways of the spirit world. In an interview in 1993 at the
Mendocino Men's Conference, he described indigenous
people's view of gay men:
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"[A]t
least among the Dagara people, gender has very
little to do with anatomy. It is purely energetic.
In that context, a male who is physically male can
vibrate female energy, and vice versa. That is where
the real gender is ... In the culture that I come
from ... these people are looked on, essentially, as
people...
"The earth is looked at, from my tribal perspective,
as a very, very delicate machine or consciousness,
with high vibrational points, which certain people
must be guardians of in order for the tribe to keep
its continuity with the gods and with the spirits
that dwell there ... Any person who is at this link
between this world and the other world experiences a
state of vibrational consciousness which is far
higher, and far different, from the one that a
normal person would experience. This is what makes a
gay person gay." (Some,
cited in Hoff, 1993, pp. 1-2)
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The
GLBT persons whose accounts I collected "came out of the
closet," so to speak, so that we can all see what is true
and beautiful to the NDE: that there is a world just beyond
this one in which all people, regardless of skin color,
gender, age, lifestyle, or sexual orientation, are viewed as
equal. The cross-cultural context within each of these
stories, although highly valuable to the reader of NDE
accounts, can reveal more than some GLBTs would be willing
to expose. For instance, when it came time to publish my
book, some of the contributors refused to have their stories
published. Although the accounts were all anonymous, some
potential authors felt that there might be a way they could
be identified or that there was something "wrong" with
recording such spiritual stories. Unfortunately, these
stories have remained unpublished.
The GLBT NDE stories I have collected contain account after
account of deeply meaningful experiences. Some of the most
deeply inspiring of these accounts provide examples of this
newfound spiritual growth. For example, one man who had had
an NDE during an extended coma following an emergency
appendectomy at age 17, wrote:
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"I will say that my
near-death experience dramatically changed who I was
and how I lived. I live not by what I read and
'think' is right; I live by what I 'know' is right
for me. This doesn't mean that it's right for you. I
still go to church and worship God but God doesn't
'need' people to worship Him. One doesn't have to do
anything to go to heaven ...
"We are here on earth to learn from each other and
help each other. If we want to 'learn,' we must keep
an open mind.
"Just like everyone else here, I am not simply a
human being. I am a spirit with a human shell.
Someday I will leave my body and continue in the
spiritual, non-material realm again." (Dale,
2001, p. 121)
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I would like to conclude this paper
with a perspective on the concept of divine light from
Ken Wilbur's
Sex, Ecology, Spirituality:
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"The
observer in you, the Witness in you, transcends the
isolated person in you and opens instead -- from
within or from behind, as
Emerson said -- onto a vast expanse of awareness
no longer a respecter or abuser of persons, no
longer fascinated by the passing joys and set-apart
sorrows of the lonely self, but standing still in
silence as an opening or clearing through which
light shines, not from the world but into it -- 'a
light shines through us upon things.' That which
observes or witnesses the self, the person, is
precisely to that degree free of the self, the
person, and through that opening comes pouring the
light and power of the Self, a Soul, that as Emerson
puts it, 'would make our knees bend.'" (2000,
p. 289)
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REFERENCES |
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♦ |
Dalai
Lama. (1999).
The path to tranquility. New York, NY: Penguin
Putnam. |
♦ |
Dale, L.
(2001).
Crossing over and coming home: Twenty-one authors
discuss the gay near-death experience as spiritual
transformation. Houston, TX: Emerald Ink.
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♦ |
de Ia
Huerta, C. (1999).
Corning out spiritually. New York, NY:
Tarcher/Putnam. |
♦ |
Grof, S.
(2001). [Endorsement]. In Dale, L.,
Crossing over and corning home (unpaged
frontispiece). Houston, TX: Emerald Ink. |
♦ |
Hoff, B. H. (1993,
September).
Gays: Guardians of the gates [an interview with
Malidoma Some). Men Magazine, pp. 1-2. Retrieved
October 19, 2005, from the MenWeb website:
http://www.menweb.org/somegay.htm
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♦ |
Morse,
M. (2001). Foreword. In Dale, L.,
Crossing over and coming home (pp. i-iii).
Houston, TX: Emerald Ink. |
♦ |
Wilbur,
K. (2000).
Sex, ecology, spirituality. Boston, MA:
Sharnbhala. |
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR |
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Liz Dale, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private
practice. Her website is
www.lizdale.com. |
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Reprint requests should be addressed
to:
Dr. Liz Dale, 95 Christine Court, San Pablo, CA 94806;
Email:
lizsanpablo@aol.com
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